Pixies and Kisses

Tender headed hair chewing Cynthia got a hair cut this week. It was a special date since we have never paid for a hair cut before. I wanted Cynthia to feel special with short hair. Her pixie hair cut matches her enchantingly sweet and bubbly personality. Hopefully the new hair cut will also cut out the hair chewing habit that created quite the dreadlocks for this tender headed pixie.



Favorite blanket of all time made by Great Grandma Breinholt.

So Sweet!

Richard is so much like Grandpa Richard. He likes quiet time, chocolate, soft clothes, tends to be opinionated and at times a little on the grumpy side.

I can't believe how big he is getting, as you can see in the picture below, he is bursting at the seams.

Richard doesn't like change when it comes to sippy cups and clothes. He tantrums when we introduce new clothes to his soft cotton wardrobe.

Throughout the day Richard demands in his deep voice "choco miwk" and in exchange I say, " I wonna kiss." He SLOWLY puckers his little lips and plants a slightly embarrassed kiss on my cheek.

This is true joy! A Richard kiss. I am truly infatuated by this valiant little man.

Mood Swing Love

Before Christmas, with the help of a wonderful neighbor Wayne Hardman, I installed beam supports above Kenna's room for an indoor swing. This was one of those gifts I could hardly wait til Christmas to open.
We have two swings. One a canvas Ikea swing and the other a Lycra hammock that I ordered online and smells like Las Vegas plus gross cigarette cover up spray. The Lycra swing is Kenna's favorite. Autistic children, like Kenna, love to swing. The movement helps them to relax.

This is Kenna's Happy Place!

What a smile!

Kenna rubs her face into the swing and sometimes, as seen in this picture, she licks it trying to get her sensory needs met.
She goes from hot red anxious hyperventilation to a state of Zen deep breathing in a matter of minutes. It is miraculous.

We had three great weeks but this week, not so much. What a blessing this swing is during weeks like this when her body has acclimated to her meds and we are all ready to scream and cry because of one broken terrorized brain.

We just celebrated Valentines Day this week. A time to express love to those around us. But it is weeks like this that I see my imperfect love. It is so easy to love a child that gives back to you and responds quickly to love. But Kenna is different. It's like fumbling around in the dark hoping that our good intentions and love is sinking in and that the angry frustrated moments are not sticking.

The progress in the last year is astounding, she is amazing. But when she goes back to food gorging, reactive, disregulated and crazy energy, lets face it, I get a little crazy myself. She is so much easier to love when she is regulated/medicated. But that wasn't the plan apparently. Apparently, I have a lot to learn from this little person. Part of me can look back over these hard times and say I DID MY BEST. Another part of me wishes that I was more and that I had a more perfect love like our Savior. A love that has no end. A love that has no scarcity. A love that is patient and infinite.

I know that MY BEST IS ENOUGH. That is what I can put on the alter, my best effort. It still isn't perfect and that is why the atonement is a part of my life daily, because I am far from perfect on my best day. How could I ever have hope without Jesus Christ? A loving brother that saves me. That is true love. A true Valentine.